One Liners (ig - is)

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Ignorance of one's misfortunes is clear gain. (Euripides)
I had dreams and I've had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.
I have all the money I'll ever need - if I die by 4 today. (Henny Youngman)
I have changed my mind a dozen times. It seems to work better now.
I have discovered the whole problem with the National Debt. Most of us work 5 days a week, and the government spends 7.
I have gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.
I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams. (Dr. Jonas Salk)
I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence.
I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. (James Rhinehart)
I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. (James Rhinehart)
I have learned that the Lord didn't do it all in one day.
What makes me think I can?
I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. (James Rhinehart)
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
I have no particular talent, I am merely extremely inquisitive. (Albert Einstein)
I have no problem keeping secrets. It's the people I tell...
I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand. (Chinese proverb)
I just got lost in thought. . . . It was unfamiliar territory.
I just want to turn on the light and have it work...I don't want to know where the electricity comes from.
I know Karate! ...and several other Japanese words.
I know UNIX, PASCAL, C, FORTRAN, COBOL, and nineteen other high-tech words.
I know you know what I think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
I laugh just like you, I cry and feel pain.
When you touch my skin, we feel just the same.
But you were born black and I was born white,
Our prejudice formed because of our sight.
But if you were blind and I couldn't see,
Just think of how nice our friendship could be!
(Poem by Forrest Campbell)
I like pigs better than cat and dogs. Dogs are subservient and look up to man. Cats are aloof and look down on man. A pig, however, will look you in the eye, and see his equal. (Winston Churchill)
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. (August Strindberg)
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. (Helen Keller)
I lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the time.
I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting system through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. (George Washington Carver)
I love you 2 day,
I love you 2 morrow,
I love you 4 ever.
Imagination is intelligence having fun.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. (Albert Einstein)
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't; and a sense of humour to console him for what he is. (Horace Walpole)
"I'm a lawyer."
.. "Honest?"..
"No, the usual kind."
Imbesi's Law of the Conservation of Filth: "In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty."
Freeman's Extension: "...but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean."
Immature love: I love you because I need you.
Mature love; I need you because I love you.
I'm old enough to know better but I'm still to young to care.
Impossibility simply means I'm possibility. (Monsieur Nana Adom)

I'm serious; it was a joke.
I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. (Groucho Marx)
In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilisation along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honour and the highest responsibility anyone could have.(Lee Iacocca)
In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing. (Antonio Porchia)
Inch by inch life's a cinch.
Yard by yard life is hard.
In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely.
In the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.
(Geoffrey F. Fisher)
In communism, man oppresses man.
In capitalism, it's the other way around.
Incontinence Hot line...Can you hold please.
Indian build small fire stand real close, White man build BIG fire stand way back....
In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity. (Melanchthon)
Information is giving out.
Communication is getting through.
Initiative is the ability to do the right thing.. efficiency is the ability to do the thing right.. effectiveness is doing the right things.
Ink drys, paper burns, but what is written in the soul will last an eternity.
In life, what happens to you isn't as important as what happens in you. (Anon)
In many cases stress is caused, not by the event itself, but rather by our response to the event.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. (Thomas Jefferson)
I no longer worry about being a brilliant conversationalist. I simply try to be a good listener. I notice that people who do that are usually welcome wherever they go. (Frank Bettger)
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. (Dereke Bruce)
In our search for truth let us not be influenced by what is easiest to believe.
In places of delight, there are no clocks.
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. (John Bunyan)
In spite of the cost of living, it's still quite popular.
Instead of singing the Doxology phrase "Praise all creatures here below," a little girl sang instead, "Praise all preachers, here we go." It made sense to her because everybody sang it at the end of the service, just as they were leaving.
Integrity is the cornerstone of trust.
Integrity is when what you say, what you do, what you think, and who you are all come from the same place. (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie)
Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it but you don't have to show it off.
Intercessory prayer might be defined as loving our neighbour on our knees. (Charles Brent)
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take prozac to make it normal.
In the dark dreary nights when the storm is at its most fierce the lighthouse burns bright so the sailors can find their way home again. In life the same light burns. This light is fuelled with love, faith, and hope. And through lifes most fierce storms these three burn their brightest so we also can find our way home again.
In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving. (Sheldon Kopp)
In the pasture of life, don't be a cowpie.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life; it goes on.
In your life you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you will get married and wish you had.
I once saw this sign on a diner wall: "I have an agreement with the bank: they don't fry hamburgers, and I don't cash checks."
I only work to enjoy when I am not working.
I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.
I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, put on my prayers, turned off the bed, jumped in my light, all because you kissed me goodnight.
I rather lose a second in my life, than my life in a second.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I "had" any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
"Is ignorance or apathy the biggest problem with the world today?"
"I don't know and I don't care".
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? (Kelvin Throop III)

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