Oneliners & Proverbs

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers? Men don't like flowers. I've been wearing a great new scent. It's called New Car Interior. (Rita Rudner)

"Why?" is the query of a skeptic; "How?" is the question of a person who wants to believe. (J Tilse)

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."

Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything

Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.

Win with humility; lose with grace.

Wisdom has two parts:
1) Having a lot to say.
2) Not saying it.

Wisdom is a comb given to a man once he is bald. (Irish proverb)

Wisdom whispers - foolishness shouts.

Wisdom will keep you from getting into situations where you need it. (Bruce M. Sandbrook)

Wise men talk because they have something to say.
Fools talk because they have to say something. (Plato)

Wise sayings often fall on barren ground; but a kind word is never thrown away. (Sir Arthur Helps)

With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. (Ransom K. Ferm)

With money I can buy things; with thinking I can understand things.

Without God, I can not.
Without me, God will not.

Without risk there is no opportunity for gain.

With prayer as with other gifts from God, it is not what you get that counts, it's what you do with it.

With wealth you can live in comfort.
With drive you can make a comfortable living.
With peace of mind, you can be comfortable in living.

Wit is educated insolence. (Aristotles)

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. (Marcel Archard)

Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM: "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."
HER: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear."
HIM: "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news."
HER: "Well, the air bag works."

Women's faults are many, men have just two!
Everything they say and everything they do!!!

Won't you come into the garden?
I would like my roses to see you.
(Richard Brinsley Sheridan 1751-1816)

Work like you don't need the money, love like your heart has never been broken, and dance as if no one is watching. (Satchel Paige)

Work with every buyer as though that person represents a thousand referrals. (Tom Hopkins)

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. (Corrie Ten Boom)

Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.

Worry is the darkroom in which 'negatives' are developed.

Worry pulls tomorrow's cloud over today's sunshine.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. (Mark Twain)

Write injuries in the sand, kindnesses in marble.

Yesterday is a cancelled cheque.
Tomorrow is a promised note.
Today is ready cash, use it!

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
today is a gift of God,
which is why we call it the present. (Bill Keane)

Yesterday today was tomorrow yet tomorrow today will be yesterday.

You always find something in the last place you look.

You are getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

You are getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.

You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven.

You are what you think about all day long. (Dr. Robert Schuller)

You are young only once, but you can be immature all your life.

You better think about the future, for it's where you will spend the rest of your life.

You can blow out a candle,
but you can't blow out a fire,
once the flame begins to catch,
the wind will blow it higher. (Peter Gabriel)

You can bomb the world into pieces, you can't bomb the world into peace.....

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. (Malcolm Forbes)

You can employ men and hire hands to work for you, but you must win their hearts to have them work with you. (Tiorio)

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. (Dale Carnegie)

You can never understand the true value of something until you don't have it anymore.

You can outdistance that which is running after you but not what is running inside you. (Rwandan Proverb)

You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.

You can send a message around the world in 1/7 of a second; yet it may take several years to move a simple idea through a 1/4 inch of human skull.

You can survive on charm for about 5 minutes...after that, you'd better know something!

You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.

You can't be in two places at once, they say.
Then how is it that you are there and in my heart at the same time?

You can't be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.

You can't build character & courage by taking away men's initiative & independence.

You can't do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

You can't do anything, if you believe you can't.

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. (Leo Aikman)

You can't expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down on them.

You can't get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

You can't help the poor man by destroying the rich.

You can't make an omlette without breaking eggs.

You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. (Colin Powell)

You can't make your candle burn brighter by blowing out the other fellow's.

You can't prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but can prevent them from building their nest on it.

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. (Indira Gandhi)

You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

You can't test courage cautiously.

You can't train a horse with shouts, and expect it to obey a whisper.

You can turn dollars into cents, and sense into dollars, though not dollars into sense.

You can win more friends with your ears than you can with your mouth!

you could hit someone over the head with a hammer and they would say, "gee, thanks, it feels so much better now that you stopped"...
Their glass is a keg, and over flowing with the values of true life. If we all acted a little bit more like him, the world would truely be a better place. (Peter Walstrom)

You could better start giving me mouth to mouth, because you just took my breath away!

You did touch me but didn't feel my pain.
Jesus came and touched me and I don't feel the pain any more.

You don't become a missionary by crossing the sea but by seeing the cross.

You don't get old, you just become a classic.

You don't have to blow out anothers candle to make yours shine bright.

You don't look at a picture of a Chevy when you drive a Cadillac.

You don't lose if you get knocked down, you lose if you stay down.

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her

You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry the person with whom you cannot live without.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. (Michael Pritchard)

You don't win silver. You lose gold.

You either have to be first, best, or different. (Loretta Lynn)

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. (Polish Proverb)

You have reached middle age when the phone rings on Saturday night, you pray it isn't for you.

You have three choices in any situation; the sooner you choose, the less stress you�€™ll feel: change, accept or leave.

You have to protect the privacy of the advice you get, or you'll never get the advice you need. (Richard Nixon)

You know it's love when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than dreams.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. (Bob Hope)

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. (P. J. O-Rourke)

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because your all the same.

You may be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but you need gold-hearted people to make your life more tasty.

You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. (Mary Pickford)

You may have grown old, but you may not have grown up.

You may not be able to turn back the clock; but you can always wind it up again.

You may only be one person in the world, but to one person you may be the world.

You may pass violets looking for roses and contentment looking for victory.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. (Gandhi)

You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day!

You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures. (Charles Noble)

You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.
The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable. (Henry Ward Beecher)

You only have one chance to make a first impression.

You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him. (Teresa of Avila)

Your actions speak so loud that I can't hear what you're saying.

Your attitude is the librarian of your past, the speaker of your present, and the prophet of your future!

Your brain is that bodily organ which starts working the moment you awake and does not stop until you get into the office.

Your child has started growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going.

Your children know you love them by your presence, not your presents.

Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

You're in middle age when you realize you have more on your mind and less on your head.

Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. (Samuel Johnson)

Your morality can keep you out of jail,
but only the Blood of Jesus Christ, can keep you of hell!

Your neighbour is the man who needs you.

Your problem is never really your problem, your reaction to your problem is your problem. (Brian Kinsey)

Your responsibility is your response to His ability.

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

Your smile lights up a room like a candle in the dark.
I can still hear the song of your laughter.

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. (Leo Buscaglia)

Your temper is the only thing you can lose and still have.

Your thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace. (Jerry Bridges)

Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment. (Karen Crockett)

You satisfy the hungry heart with gift of finest wheat.
Now give to us, O saving Lord, the bread of life to eat.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Youth is when we are always hunting greener pastures, and middle age is when we can barely mow the one we've got.

Youth wastes away, but immaturity can last a lifetime.

You were born as an original. Don't die as a copy.

You will come across hope and despair in almost every situation. Only one of them wins each time.

You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated. (Maya Angelou)

You will find that the only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort. (Norton Juster)

You will never be promoted until you become over-qualified for your present position.

You will never "win" an argument concerning religion.

You wouldn't care what people thought of you if you realised how seldom they do.

CATEGORIES: Click on a category below for more one liners

� One Liners A1

� One Liners A2

� One Liners A3

� One Liners A4

� One Liners B-C

� One Liners D

� One Liners E-G1

� One Liners G2-H1

� One Liners H2

� One Liners I1

� One Liners I2

� One Liners I3

� One Liners I4

� One Liners K-L1

� One Liners L2-M

� One Liners N

� One Liners O

� One Liners P

� One Liners Q-S

� One Liners T1

� One Liners T2

� One Liners T3

� One Liners T4

� One Liners U-W1

� One Liners W2

� One Liners W3-Z

Oneliners & Proverbs

One Liners (who - z)

Comment or Share Your Own One Liner

Popular Pages

Quick Links