One Liners (p)

CATEGORIES: Click on a category below for more one liners

A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.
A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
Parents are so excited about the first steps and words of their children, but then they spend the next 17 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other. Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of Species". Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?" The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."
Passion: A feeling you feel when you feel a feeling you've never felt before. (Andrew Edgerton)
Passion: there are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those.
Patience accomplishes its object, while hurry speeds to its ruin. (Saadi, Persian poet)
Patience is how you act while you're waiting. (Joyce Meyer)
Patience is the silken cord on which are strung the pearls of virtue.
Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. (Antisthenes)
Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God. (Steve Dow)
People and their managers are working so hard to be sure things are done right, that they hardly have time to decide if they are doing the right things. (Stephen R. Covey)
People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.
People are like tea bags - You have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are!
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges (J. F. Newton)
People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because things are being loved and people are being used.
People are never too busy to tell you all that they have to do.
People do not care how much you know, till they know how much you care! (Brett Watson)
People do not plan to fail, they just fail to plan.
People do not quit playing because they grow old.
They grow old because they quit playing. (Oliver Wendell Holmes)
People forget how fast you did a job- but they remember how well you did it.
People forget what you said.
People forget what you did.
But people never forget how you made them feel.
People in power need the power of prayer.
People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're all the same.
People love flowers but they hate the rain.
The things that bring joy come from that which brings pain.
So this should leave a stain on your brain,
the reason why you have fields of grain,
is because its got to rain.
People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.
People never say, "It's only a game", when they're winning.
People pick bad things from bad company very quickly but good company takes a good time to gift good things to them.
People say walking on water is a miracle, but to me walking peacefully on earth is the real miracle. (Thich Nhat Hanh)
People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around.
People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars.... and they pass by themselves without wondering. (St. Augustine)
People want the front of the bus; back of the church and centre of attention.
People who are often in a hurry imagine they are energetic, when in most cases they are simply inefficient. (Sydney J. Harris)
People who do the world's real work don't usually wear neckties.
People who have heard me sing, say I don't. (Mark Twain)
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
People who think they're out of this world always make you wish they were.
People who value their privileges above their principles, soon lose both.
People who want by the yard, but try by the inch, should be kicked by the foot !
People will believe most anything that is whispered to another.
People with true character show it when nobody else is present.
People would enjoy life more if, once they got what they wanted, they could remember how much they wanted it.
People would worry less about what others think of them if they only realised how seldom they do.
Perhaps the dominant force in the average life is possessions. Life becomes a scramble for gain instead of a mission for God. We are so busy making a living that we forget to make a life. (A. P. Gouthey)
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Personal ad from newspaper:
Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan. Write POB 74
Pet owner: Every time a bell rings my dog goes and sits in the corner.
Veterinarian: That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer.

Philosophy can not be attained from text on a page... it comes from with the soul. (Russ Kolibas)
Plan ahead: It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark!
Please do not complain about the coffee. You'll be old and weak someday, too!
Plenty of love, Tons of kisses,
Hope some day, To be your Mrs.
Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. (Carl Sandburg)
Politics: Poly (many) + ticks (bloodsucking parasites)
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.
Poverty never spoils a good man, but prosperity often does.
Poverty within is as dangerous as poverty without. (Rowan Swan)
Power works best in the hands of those who don't want it.
Praise can be your most valuable asset as long as you don't aim it at yourself.
Praise your children openly, reprove them secretly. (W. Cecil)
Pray as if everything depended on GOD,
Act as if everything depended on yourself!
Prayer does not cause faith to work, faith causes prayer to work. (Gloria Copeland)
Prayer is the key to Heaven, but faith unlocks the door. (Mosie Lister)
Praying is hard; living without it is harder.
Preach the Gospel at all times ... if necessary, use words. (St. Francis of Assisi)
Precious is the parrot who is trained by a clean tongue.
Presence is more than just being there. If your absence doesn't make any difference, your presence won't either.
Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children. (Oliver Wendell Holmes)
Pride is something we have. Vanity is something others have.
Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. (Henry J. Kaiser)
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
Professor to noisey students: "Every time I open my mouth some fool speaks."
Promises are meant to be kept, for they are like precious pearls in an ocean, their value is high and quality genuine and true, and once they are made they can never be broken.
Promises are like babies....
Mostly easy to make bit hard to deliver.
Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience.
Proverbs contain within one or two lines the lessons of lifetime.
Public transportation notice: "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
Put your creed in your deed.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. (Frank Frye)

CATEGORIES: Click on a category below for more one liners

Comment or Share Your Own One Liner

privacy policy | Copyright