One Liners (lo - m)

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Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. (David Grayson)
Looking back, may I be filled with gratitude;
Looking forward, may I be filled with hope;
Looking upward, may I be aware of strength;
Looking inward, may I find peace.......
Looks capture the eyes.
Personality captures the heart.
Lord, be merciful, shut me up when my life speaks so much louder than my words.
Lord give me an answer, or give me the patience to wait for one, just do it now please!
Lord grant me the courage to do the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. (Michelangelo)
Lord, make my words soft and tender for tomorrow I may have to eat them.
Lord, may others treat me tomorrow as I have treated them today.
Lord, so far today I've not been grumpy, selfish, greedy, envious, proud, or angry. I'm really pleased about that. But in a few minutes now, I'm going to get up and from then on, I'll probably need a lot more help.
Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with. (Rev. Peter Marshall)
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. (Oprah Winfrey)
Love and Time: The only two things in all of life and all the world that cannot be bought, but spent.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
Love God more than you fear hell.
Love has reasons that reason knows nothing of.
Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. (Robert Frost)
Love is blind.
Marriage is the eye-opener.
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Love is not about who you live with...
It's about who you can't live without.
Love is not a game, so don't be a player.
Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. (Rabbi Julius Gordon)
Love is not finding a perfect person, it is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Love is not just gazing at each other but looking together in the same direction.
Love is not paid back only passed on. (Nancy Pettit)
Love is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity. (Helen Hayes)
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own. (Robert Heinlein)
Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly.
Love is the one word that we use every day, and the one word that words cannot define. (Anna K. Schwartz)
Love is the only capable force of transforming an enemy into a friend.
Love is the only fire hot enough to melt the iron obstinacy of a creature's will.
Love is the unity of two hearts beating together as one.
Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream.
Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship, and find out you still care for that person.
Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it.
Love makes a house a home.
Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.
Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age. (John Dryden)
Love sees no colour.
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. (William Shakespeare)
Love: the only game that two can play and both can win.
Love the sinner but hate the sin. (Mahatma Gandhi)
Love was not put in your heart to stay.
Love is not love until you give it away.
"LSD melts your mind, not in your hand"
Luck is a loser's excuse for a winner's position!
Lust is pure passion.
Love tempers passion with reason. (John W. Kennedy)
Mae: I've been asked to get married lots of times.
Rae: Who asked you?
Mae: Mom and Dad. Lots of times.
Make crime pay, become a lawyer. (Will Rogers)
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make no judgments where you have no compassion. (Anne McCaffrey)
Make your life a mission, not an intermission. (Arnold Glasgow)
Making enemies out of friends is easy.
Making friends out of enemies is difficult, but it is actually worthwhile.
Making your good times count and not forgeting your bad times makes a man sucessful.
Man and the turtle are very much alike. Neither makes any progress without sticking his neck out.
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one!
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.
Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best.
God finds it hard to give, because He would give the best, and man will not take it.
Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
Man's way leads to a hopeless end! Gods way leads to an endless hope!
Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. (Maurice Chevalier)
Many a man thinks he is buying pleasure, when he is really selling himself to it. (Benjamin Franklin)
Many Christians debate whether the devil is on earth or in hell. Can he dwell in Christians or only in the world? The fact is: the devil is in darkness. Wherever there is spiritual darkness, there the devil will be.
Many folks know how to say nothing.
Few know when.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
Many people lose their tempers merely by seeing you keep yours.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Many people spend their health for wealth, and then try to spend their wealth for health. (Mikey)
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
Many years ago, a large American shoe company sent two sales representatives out to different parts of the Australian outback to see if they could drum up some business among the Aborigines. Some time later, the company received telegrams from both agents.
The first said, "No business here . . . natives don't wear shoes."
The second one said, "Great opportunity here . . . natives don't wear shoes!"
(John M. Capozzi)
Marital problems? You don't need a new wife, you need a new life!
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. (Erma Bombeck)
Marriage - is an expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
Materialism is buying things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people who don't matter.
Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. (Ann Flanders)
Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!
Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. (Ashleigh Brilliant)
May every day of your life together be worse than the next. (Old Irish wedding blessing)
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
(An Irish friendship wish)
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you are dead. (Irish proverb)
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy and enough money to buy gifts.
May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper.
May your love be filled with life and may your life be filled with love. (old wedding toast)
May your trouble be like the old man's teeth...few and far between.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct; what they like to be is a man's last romance.
Men, as well as women, are much oftener led by their hearts than by their understandings. (Lord Chesterfield)
Men moet altijd het vergeetboekje bij zich dragen, anders houd je geen enkele vriend over.
Men tell you the facts, but God will tell you the truth!
Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns...
Ever notice how all womens probIems begin with men?
Men will spend their health getting wealth. Then, gladly pay all they have earned to get health back. (Mike Murdock)
Methods are many,
Principles are few.
Methods change often,
Principles never do.
Middle age starts when you have been warned to slow down, not by a motorcycle cop, but by your doctor.
Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.
Money: a businessman earns it,
an economist learns it,
a banker turns it,
a politician burns it,
and a wise man spurns it.
Money comes and goes, but people last for a lifetime. (Rob Shan)
Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines.
Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master.
Money is like unspreadable butter, you try and spread it but it all lumps together at one end of the bread.
Money is nice, yet nice is worth more.
Money talks.
I'll not deny.
I heard it once.
It said good-bye.
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
Moral rules are directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction, in the running of that machine. (C.S. Lewis)
More doors are opened with "please" than with keys.
Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter."
Mosquitoes are a great moral force; it forces mankind to wear more clothes that modesty.
Most accidents happen at home - maybe we should move.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
Most great men and women are not perfectly rounded in their personalities, but are instead people whose one driving enthusiasm is so great it makes their faults seem insignificant. (Charles A. Cerami)
Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. (T.S. Elliot)
Most of us are pretty good at keeping promises to others and pretty bad at keeping promises to ourselves. (Lawrence LeShan)
Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break.
For me, it's biting my fingernails.
One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails.
"Great idea, honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."
Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank. (Ben Irwin)
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. (Abraham Lincoln)
Most people want to serve God -- but only in an advisory capacity.
Most would rather be ruined by praise than saved by critisism.
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."
"But you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know," said Mrs. Squiffy. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started. (David Allen)
Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. (Robert Fripp)
My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
My aim is that when my hands will work no longer, that the works of my hands will still continue to keep on working.
My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, the engine is STILL there! Silly light . . .
My children need love the most when they deserve it the least. (Erma Bombeck)
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life.
I think he was right.
I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
My dog is very obedient,
he does what he is bid.
A sign said 'wet paint',
and that's just what he did.
My eyes may be closed, but my mind is not asleep.
My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers.
The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
My five-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to."
My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit.
He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition. (Indira Gandhi)
My house was clean last week.
Sorry you missed it.
My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there. (Charles F. Keetering)
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. (Erma Bombeck)
My love is like a cabbage, divided into two,
The leaves I give to others but the heart I give to you.
My mind contains many good ideas, but it is not always easy to squeeze one out.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. (Ashleigh Brilliant)
My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
My pastor-husband has a sweet tooth, so I knew the chocolate chip cookies I'd just baked might disappear before I returned from running errands. To discourage him, I taped a verse on the wrapped goodies: "'Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial." - 1 Cor. 6:12.
When I returned I found half the cookies gone and another verse attached: "The righteous eat to their heart's content, but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry" - Prov. 13:25.
My Sunday school class of kindergartners was studying the creation story.
After several weeks, we were ready to review.
"What did God make the first day?" I quizzed.
"The second day?" They answered both questions correctly.
"And what happened on the third day?" I asked.
One little child, face shining with enthusiasm, exclaimed, "He rose from the dead!"
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? (Erma Bombeck)
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.

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